Will You Snail?

Dear humans,
I would like to inform you that I’m better than you. All of you are doomed, and this is a way to celebrate my superiority.Why do you need to play this?
To entertain me. This game was made to be a fun for me… I’ll completely give you the impression that you have a shot. What’s the term for the game?
This is a game that relies on skills. It’s a game of a small snail (you) fighting the true god (me).What else else do you get from this game?
Aproximately 3 hours of quality time with me (an exclusive service, I’d add)Precise and swiftly paced with a platformLots deathLots being ridiculedThe illusion of mastery and achievementThe chance of finally defeating me an interesting little mystery to unravel… The meaning of life
I can barely wait for you to figure out what’s going on here… LOL
We’re excited to meet you from the other side.
Squid